Announcing My New Book!

     When I began this blog nearly three years ago, I wasn't sure if anyone would find me, or be interested in my words.  All I knew was that I was receiving a strong prompting to reach out to others who might be feeling the deep and growing concern I had about my faith, my culture, my country, and the world.  Now, with over 1,000 posts logged, and nearly half a million views of this site, I have decided that maybe I had something worthwhile to say after all.  (Actually, it is the Lord who has something to say through me.  I guess you could say He decided He was able to use me).  So I am announcing the publication of my first book, titled Salvation and Survival: Defending My Faith, Freedom & Family.  
     In short, this book is 230 pages that reflect my personal opinion on the social, political and spiritual path America has taken in recent history.  It is a compilation of my essays, presented in chronological order to give you a picture of where we've been, and where we're going.
     You will see my thoughts and views on everything from the Economy, to the wars in the Middle East, to our culture and societal woes; to our Spiritual foreboding -- and everything in between.  Primarily, it is the perspective of an average American woman as we enter the second decade of the 21st Century.  In case you are wondering why anyone would care what I had to say ... It is my sincere hope that future generations might get an idea of what we were thinking; and the people, events and ideas that influenced this unsettling time.
     Since I am a lover of history, you will find discourses on the principles of the founding of this nation, as well as how we've changed; whether for the better or worse.  You will read of how world affairs are threatening the peace and laws of our country, and what I think our future looks like from this particular vantage point in time.  And you will hear my worries about preparing for an uncertain future and how to make sure that the truth of our children's heritage is protected.  In no way, do I expect people to agree with me on every subject; in fact, it is my hope that this book will encourage discussion between people of different ideologies, faiths, and social backgrounds.  After all, this is my opinion -- what is yours?
     If you have been a faithful reader of this blog, then this book will be a collection of the highlights of our common experience; a reminder of how far we've come.  If you are new to my ruminations, then I think you will find this book a refreshing departure from "talking points" prognostications; an "of-the-people" review of our times, so to speak.
     Needless to say, these essays of mine will not affect history, but they are a de facto record of history-in-the-making.  History may actually prove me wrong on any number of my opinions, but the passion for my faith, my freedom, and my family can never be called into question.
     So, I hope you will join me on this journey through our recent history and follow our path, as we tread these troubling times.  Share my thoughts of fear and anxiety, my shouts of triumph, and my ever-present hope in the mercy of God.  We're all in this together!

Romans 15:4   "For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."

Are You In Your Land of Goshen?

     I spent this past weekend at a mind-blowing Prophecy Conference, with enough Scriptural references to keep me busy for a year.  So it is time for me to have another gut-check of my Biblical world view.  PLW and I have stepped out of the Church's system, and it is always refreshing to be among Christians who revere the Bible enough to spend massive amounts of time studying and reflecting upon His Word.  We all believe that through the ancient texts of the Holy Scriptures, God has something to tell us about these times in which we are living.  And we have a hunger to dig deep and to receive personal discernment; we no longer rely on the interpretation of a man, and we reject the Nicolaitan model of unrestrained indulgence and indifference to God's commandments that is such a prevalent message from today's pulpits.

     That being said, each of the speakers this weekend cautioned everyone, (as I do) to not believe a word said ... to do our own research.  So the purpose of this post is not to bore you with a theological treatise, but to give you a little kernel of hope in the midst of these disturbing days through a concept that was briefly mentioned during a Q & A session at the end of the conference.  

     There was a lot of discussion about how God will protect His own during the coming Tribulation.  Even if you believe that the Church will be raptured out of here before the wars, plagues, famines, geological/astronomical calamities, and the Anti-Christ's persecutions ... you should at least entertain the possibility that you will endure some suffering.  Jesus told us we would "suffer for His name's sake".  We can see that happening in Iraq, Sudan, and in the streets of Europe, as Christians and Jews are being oppressed and persecuted.

     But one of the conference speakers suggested that, first, God has not given us a spirit of fear; but secondly -- and this is a concept that is a great comfort to me --  "wherever God has placed you in this  time is your Goshen".  That thought intrigued me.  Why hadn't I seen it before?  If you will recall, after Joseph was sold into slavery in Egypt, he eventually rose to become second-in-command, behind the Pharaoh, and was in charge of all Egypt.

      When his brothers and father came to Egypt to escape the famine in Canaan, they discovered that their brother (who was a great example of a Prepper in the Bible) had great power and they feared retribution for their betrayal of him.  But what did Joseph do for them?  He gave them the very best of the land to dwell in; the land of Goshen.  In Hebrew, Goshen means "drawing near".  If you will read Genesis 45:7-11, you will find that God had a plan:  for Joseph to bring his family out of the famine.  We see that Joseph desires to have his family near him; to protect them from the famine that will threaten others; and to provide for their needs. 

     I am able to perceive that PLW and I are in our own Land of Goshen, and I hope that you can contemplate that for yourselves, too.  I have said this before: that I know without a doubt that God maneuvered us to this exact spot, both physically and spiritually, in 2008.  For the past six years, He has protected us from the deteriorating economy and provided for our needs -- even when everything in this world points to the unlikelihood of our survival.  Just as in the Bible when God sent the ten plagues against Egypt --- they hit every part of the country, but the land of Goshen.  

     I believe that we have avoided the disastrous consequences of the physical and spiritual poverty of our country because we have drawn more near to God, here in this spot that He placed us, than at any other time in our lives.  When we draw near to Him, He draws nearer to us.  I know in my soul that He is present with us.  And while the threats of Satan in this world -- transhumanism, 21st century plagues, the annihilation of Israel, and the collapse of our own country -- are ever-constant, I have faith that I am in the exact place God wants me to be in order to receive His protection and provision.

     If you have not been called to move or change locations, then accept that you are in your personal land of Goshen.  There's no need to flee in fear or doubt.  Stay where you are; knowing that you are firmly rooted in your faith and the knowledge that God is drawing you near.  The storms will rage all around you, but your experiences will be different than the world's.  We are engaged in a spiritual battle, and when the forces of darkness see that you have drawn nearer to God, they will flee for greener pastures.  

     I believe in the power and authority of our God to proclaim as many Land of Goshens as He desires.  So take a look around ... maybe what you have taken for granted these last few years is really a safe haven from the wiles of the devil.  Say a blessing over your home and your small plot of land.  Dedicate them and your family to drawing nearer to God so that you might escape the devastations coming our way.  Be thankful for your refuge and your shelter, and rest in your Goshen.

Genesis 45:10-11    "You will live in the land of Goshen, and you will be close to me—you and your children and your grandchildren, your flocks, your herds, and all you have.  And there I will sustain and provide for you, so that you and your household and all that are yours may not come to poverty and want..."

I Can Take It!

   

     When I began this blog nearly two-and-a-half years ago, it was in response to a prompting that I needed to use my modest gift of writing to open a dialogue among us normal, average Americans.  I have never claimed to be an expert on anything, but I have also never been content to sit on the sidelines and let others form my opinions for me.  At the same time, I did not request or require that anyone agree with me.  I just felt that there had to be lots of people like me that were waking up to new and chilling prospects, with a desire to make others more aware.
     All I knew, at the time that I started writing, was that things seemed very wrong in the country that I loved so much.  It also became apparent that things were getting off track in my church, too.  I found myself no longer satisfied with "following the crowd" and was filled with a deep need to not only get to know my God better, but to discover what He would have us know about these times we live in.
     I undertook this project, knowing that not everyone would be interested in the same topics as I was, and most certainly, not everyone would share my faith, which is at the heart of this blog.  But I knew that it was something that I was supposed to do; that somehow it would become part of the purpose that God had intended for my life.
     There have been days that I'm sure I bored you to tears.  And I know there have been days some of you were saying, "Enough with the 'Biblical worldview' and your conservative, Christian values!"  Some friends have asked, "How do you do it everyday?"  I'm not sure if they are asking how I find the time, or if they are really wondering why I think what I have to say is important enough that anyone would read it everyday.  Believe me, there are days when I wonder all that myself!  But it's not that I value my own opinion so much, as it is that God keeps giving me affirmations that it's not time to quit.
     On the days when I am so mind-numbing weary, or feel that there's nothing He wants me to impart or that you might possibly find interesting, I will receive a comment in which someone reaches out and lets me know that God has used me to speak to them.  How can I stop writing when I receive a comment that says, "I was really feeling fearful (or depressed or hopeless) today, and your words were exactly what I needed.  I no longer feel alone in my feelings and I know that God is in control!"  You should just know that they aren't my words.  I am just His instrument and we are encouraging each other, as He strengthens us.
     Two-and-a-half years is a long time to stay focused and listen for God's promptings.  Sometimes He has whispered to talk to you about what is going on in world events; making it increasingly clear that rebellion against Him and persecution of His followers is on the rise.  Other times He urges me to talk about the decline of our culture, our society and our morality.  That's always good for a negative comment or two from the godless who misquote the Bible and attempt to enlighten me about what Jesus was really teaching.  Lately, God has pushed me to reveal the deeper understandings of His Word; beliefs that were accepted by early Christians who had the benefit of first or second-hand accounts of Jesus and the apostles teachings --- beliefs that have been modified, altered, revised, and even eliminated in the last two thousand years by organized religion and men who sought to distort the Truth.
     I can't tell you why God has chosen this time in my life to reveal this deeper comprehension that was concealed for years by the various churches I have attended.  But I can tell you that He has removed me from mainstream Christianity, and while many fellow Christians think PLW and I have wandered too far off the reservation, we are no longer satisfied with conforming to the traditional and comfortable "box" they live in.   We can agree and support each other on the basis of our faith, but I want more of what God is offering me, and less of the lukewarm and conventional instruction from the Church.
     All that being said, I am grateful for this opportunity to share my thoughts and my opinions.  As I promised myself at the beginning of this adventure, I will go where God leads me; all the while knowing that my writing will not be accepted or applauded by everyone.  That is not my goal.  In fact, as my readership has expanded, I am receiving more negative and critical comments -- some of them are so hateful and despicable that I choose to delete them; they offer nothing to the discourse.  I have been accused of being a hater, crazy, a religious zealot, a right-wing nut, and biblically bizarre.  It's a small price to pay for being allowed to present my message of God around the world.
     How much longer He will inspire this blog, I do not know.  I apologize in advance for those days when I can't hear His voice very clear; you will know it by the quality of my words.  But this much I do know ... this blog exists to glorify my God and as a means to encourage all His children in these difficult times.  And I will do it to the best of my God-given abilities until He whispers, "It's time to stop."  Until then, thank you for being a part of this journey with me, and together we will continue to follow His lead.

Isaiah 30:21      And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,”  ....

Feeling The Heat: A Personal Experience

     I have not spent too much time lately writing posts on getting physically prepared.  Part of the reason is that there are many sites who do that better than I do and can provide you with professional instruction.  Another reason is I figure if you are reading this blog, then you are already there mentally, and don't need to have your philosophy confirmed.
     But I wanted to relate to you a situation that has been experienced by my family of late.  PLW's parents are in their early 70's.   They have come a long way when it comes to understanding what is going on in the world and their physical state of preparedness.  They have overcome their initial skepticism and most of their normalcy biases.  They have grown leaps and bounds in their spiritual growth and they clearly see the time on the prophetical clock.  Yet the realities of their age and physical limitations must be taken into account.
     From the beginning of our own enlightenment to our changing world, we have discussed with our family the implications of various scenarios and occurrences.  Like all of us, my in-laws had to overcome the debilitating fears that came with considering the repercussions of civil unrest, horrific weather events, and terrorist activities, including an EMP.  We have done what we could to limit the discomforts that will be inherent with any of these circumstances.

     But last Friday they got to face what it would be like in the heat of South Texas should we ever experience a grid-down event.  The compressor on their air-conditioning unit went out as we faced a weekend of upper-90 temperatures in hot, humid, South Texas.  Now, you may think this is no big deal; after all their unit was under warranty.  Just contact your carrier and get a new one installed, right?  But that doesn't happen so quickly in small town Texas; especially on a Friday afternoon before the weekend.  It turns out that it would be at least 4 days until a new compressor could be shipped from a major city.  They were facing days of unrelenting heat and humidity.
     Having them stay with us was the obvious solution, but our guest bedroom is at the top of steep stairs, and neither is able to handle stairs well.  We could accommodate them with air mattresses on the floor, but both have physical limitations that prevent them getting up and down that easily.  We suggested that they get a hotel room until the installation was completed, but they insisted on "toughing it out".  I think they wanted to prove to themselves (and us) that they were prepared to undergo similar conditions in the event of a national emergency.  And I was proud of their "can-do" spirit and their resiliency ... for the first day or so.  They took it as a personal challenge and it was good for them to know that they were stronger than they thought.
     But when you are not in great shape or the best of health, and you are in your 70s, there comes a time when it's OK to throw in the towel.  We convinced them to treat themselves to a cool hotel room for Father's Day, and perhaps to consider a second night until the compressor could be delivered.  They acquiesced to one cool night, but returned to the stifling heat in their home the next day.  During the latest phone check-in, PLW could tell that the heat was taking its toll on them, both physically and  emotionally.  Their attempt to stick it out, while admirable, could result in adverse health issues for one or both of them, making the situation far worse than it is.  He finally convinced them that a portable air conditioning unit that would cool off 450 SF was enough to isolate and cool their master bedroom, giving them some respite, and us some peace of mind.  He helped them make the purchase and is installing it as I write.
     I am relating this incident to you as a cautionary reminder --- it is one thing to plan in your head what you will do, and have to endure, should an emergency occur.  It is quite another to actually live it.   Yes, my in-laws still have electricity, so this portable A/C unit is a viable option for this particular scenario.  But should we experience a grid-down event, a generator would be able to run this portable unit and provide them some much needed relief.
     Most importantly, it showed us that the elderly will pay a heavy price when the conveniences of our modern world come to a halt.  Energy-zapping heat, spine-chilling cold temps, and other harmful weather conditions will affect them more than the average population.  And that is just weather-related problems.  Throw a society in chaos into the mix, and they will be at even more of a disadvantage.   So let this innocent little disruption to normal life give you pause.  If you have elderly family, friends or neighbors, please keep in mind that they will need your help and encouragement when times get tough.  You can not game every situation, but this should show you that the possibility of even the simplest inconvenience deserves some planning in advance.

Exodus 20:12    "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."
   

A New Awakening?

     Yesterday was a heavy day for me.  Monday's usually are.  It is the day I return to the mundane tasks of my life in this world system.  I am just coming off a spiritual high of spending the Saturday Sabbath in rest and rejuvenation.  I allow myself that day, plus Sunday, to let go of headlines and emails and endless texts; of household chores and business duties, so that PLW and I can spend quiet time in our Bible studies and going wherever the Spirit takes us in our endless quest to learn more in the Word.  And it often involves a much-coveted afternoon nap or escaping into a historical novel.  But it all adds up to an appreciated respite from the weight of world events.
     Then Monday arrived.  Yesterday meant it was bill-paying time, which always brings me back to the reality of living in the world.  And then I tried wrapping my head around the Biblical world view that was presented to me.  It seems that there is not a place on earth that is not on the brink of catastrophe.  Whether it is the slaughter of Christians throughout Iraq and Kenya, or the ongoing hostilities between Russia and Ukraine, the wholesale sell-off of America's land to Chinese interests, the increase in solar flares, meteor activity, volcanos heating up, the strength of our currency cooling down --- it all adds up to a tension in the universe.

     Yet how many Americans got up yesterday morning, and it was business as usual?  How many were totally oblivious to the alarming news reports, or the condition of their country, let alone the world?  I'm afraid that too many are buried in their phones or iPads; checking in on their Facebook page as they stand in line to feed their double pump caffeine fix.  Wouldn't it be nice to just live in a digital/caffeine fueled haze, unconscious and unconcerned about all the circumstances that could have a lasting effect on your life or your family?  That may sound like a gross exaggeration and an over-simplification, but I know far too many people who fit that description, and are setting themselves up for both a huge shock and a grand deception.
     For those of us who have been fortunate enough to receive the prompting of the Holy Spirit, we must cope with the reality of what we see, as well as endeavor to reach our sleeping associates.  And while I oftentimes get frustrated with the reluctance of others to clear their minds and become observant, I am also encouraged by the growing numbers of those who are awakening from their slumber.  In fact, I was listening to a podcast yesterday from an enlightened Christian author, and he was taking phone calls from the public.
     Call after call was a testimony by fellow Christians who had, sometime during the period of 2009-2010, developed a deep hunger to know more about the Jewish roots of their faith, while coming to the conclusion that their Church was not meeting their needs.  (PLW and I now realize that we are a member of this family of faith). These were spontaneous calls that began feeding on each other, and every caller was eager to share his/her experience.  Where once they had felt they were alone in this unconventional desire, they were finding out that others had been receiving the same yearning and determination to grow their faith outside the norms of the American church experience.
     For all of us, that new and unorthodox thirst for more Biblical knowledge gave us an awareness to see national and worldly events from a Biblical perspective, and an even greater calling to share this outlook with others.  I am speaking for everyone who fits this description, and I think I can safely say that, at first, we were considered radical, and perhaps even border-line heretical by mainstream Christians.  Non-believers just thought we were some kind of Christian conspiracy nuts.  But the Holy Spirit would not let go of us!  As we persevered in presenting our Biblical evidence -- (hopefully) with respect for those who were not at the same place we were -- we began to see individuals receive their own anointing, as if the scales were instantly removed from their eyes.  Instead of feeling like we were in a wilderness of our own making, we began to see a growing family of revived disciples.
     Until hearing that podcast yesterday, I had no idea that our experience has been repeated in such vast numbers throughout the country.  Could this be a Third Great Awakening?  Could this be the answer of the prayers of the faithful in this Land?  I confess that I am reluctant to label anything so personal by a name associated with traditional Church and national history.  The First Great Awakening in America was the result of powerful preaching that gave listeners a sense of deep personal revelation of their need of salvation by Jesus Christ.  The Second Great Awakening reached out to the unchurched, and resulted in the enrollment of millions of new members in existing evangelical denominations and led to the formation of new denominations.
     This Awakening, if indeed it be so, is not the result of powerful preaching from our churches' pulpits for the redemption of men's souls.  And while the evangelical movement is good at resulting in mega-churches with millions of new members, it remains focused on itself while the members' eyes are cast inward instead of up towards their Deliverer.  No, if this is a true Awakening, it will be different from the others.  The modern Church will not play a central role; indeed, it is falling away from its mission.  It is aiding and abetting a spiritual blindness that will not serve Christians well.  This Awakening is a direct hit on the hearts of Believers by the Holy Spirit Himself!  We are seeing the layers of the mysteries of the Bible being peeled back; we understand the Word like never before, and we are growing in numbers!  
     If you do not know the saving power of Jesus Christ, then you may think this post is not for you.  But I am here to tell you that there is no better time to get to know Him.  World events are falling in line with ancient Biblical prophecies and I don't want anyone to be caught unaware and unprotected.  The same Holy Spirit that speaks into my heart, will answer your call... anywhere, anytime.  I just urge you to please not go back to sleep!  This life is just a blip on the radar screen--don't lay eternity on the line for the empty promises this world offers.

Romans 13:11    "Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed."
   

Take Nothing For Granted

     In the wake of yesterday's post and disturbing world news, I must turn my mind away from the things out of my control and think upon the parts of my life that need to be brought into clearer focus.  I am sitting here staring at the mounds of fresh tomatoes that I will be canning later today.  I swear, they are bigger, plumper and juicier than they have been in seasons past.  Nothing else in my garden has flourished like these tomatoes, and it dawns on me that I am blessed that we have had enough rain to bring in this bountiful harvest.
     My thoughts turn to how my feet and back will hurt after I've finished canning the dozens of quarts of spaghetti sauce, stewed tomatoes and salsa; and then just as quickly I turn to how grateful I am that I have them --- that the drought didn't claim them, or bugs, or critters crawling under the garden fence.  I could just as easily have nothing to can for next winter's larder.  I vow not to take these "fruit of the vine" for granted again.

     And just the other day, I waved to PLW as he drove off to deliver a commissioned painting to a loyal client.  Normally, I accompany him and we turn our trip into a time of shared conversation and exploring our thoughts on various subjects.  But today he was going by himself.  He had not cleared the gate before I was struck with the fact that he was going to be driving two hours each way on narrow country roads, dominated by massive 18-wheelers and trucks, which are our constant companions due to the natural gas boom here in Texas.  I was momentarily gripped with a spirit of fear!  Then I had to get on my knees and pray for an army of angels to surround him and bring him home safely.  I knew he was now in God's hands, but I vowed never to take his safety for granted again.
     We also had the privilege of spending a couple of days with a young woman whom we have known since she was born, and with whom we are extremely close.  Bailey is about to embark on her college career and came for one last visit and a few days of R & R.  What a joy to talk to her about her plans and her views about her teenage culture.  She has amazing parents and a good, strong moral foundation to guide her.  She shared with us her doubts and her hopes and her dreams.  She asked our advice and listened when we offered it.  We explained that we knew this was a new stage of her life, and there would most likely be a period of separation from us for awhile as she explores new avenues and determines her life's path.  She assured us that she would remain in touch and come see us, but you see, she doesn't have the advantage of looking back, as we do.  We know how it will be because we've been there.  We told her she would gravitate back to us, but we wanted her to always know we were there for her and that we loved her.
     I thought about all the times during her childhood that I didn't take into consideration that this day would come.  I made a point to relish each moment we spent together and to thank God that we had the opportunity to have her in our life.  All of our relationships should never be taken for granted!
     Then as I crawled into bed last night, I was eager to continue the brand new historical fiction novel I had bought ... the thicker the book, the better.  I allowed my mind to escape the view of this world that I face every day, and to enjoy the saga of Welsh and Russian and American families during World War 1.  History is one of my favorite things to study and I was conscious of the stress flowing out of my body, and the comfort of my own bed.  For one small moment, I could forget all the worries of the day and relish the simple pleasure of reading a book.  And then the thought popped into my head .... how these simple things were blessings that so many in the world did not have.  I have a bed and a home to call my own.  Books are a luxury to many in the world, as is the ability to read.  I have electricity by which to read far into the night, if I so desire.  And my mind is still strong and eager to learn... a scenario that I know will fade with time.  Right then and there, I vowed to never take the simple things in my life for granted, and to take notice of them and give thanks.
     Finally, I cannot finish this assessment without speaking about our little "home church" group's celebration of Pentecost last Sunday.  As we studied what Scripture reveals to us about this Holy Day, each person contemplated the significance of our gathering.  It is a time when we celebrate the Power of the Holy Spirit and God's institution of the Church Age.  We all marveled that this supernatural Power indwells each of us, just as we lamented how little we recognize it and implement it.  We have been given power to tread on serpents and scorpions, to heal, and to witness to all the world.  In fact, Jesus tells us in John 14, that we will be able to do greater works than He did, because when He went to the Father, He sent us the Power of the Holy Spirit.  Wow!  I am ashamed that I do not honor this heavenly power within me; that I take it for granted and do not call upon it to help me glorify my Lord.
     This week has been a humbling period in my life.  I can see that the world is tumbling towards the fulfillment of God's Plan for all mankind.  But for the moment, I am focused on the tremendous blessings I have.  They are not spectacular by the world's standards, but they have made me rich in the benefits I have received from each of them ... nourishment, deep love for my husband, the joy of watching a precious child grow, the simple pleasure of holding a book in my hand, and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit to proclaim the Good News to all mankind.  Who could ask for more?

1 Corinthians 2:9-10   "But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”— these things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God."

Saturday Morning's Random Thoughts

   

     There are some days that I just don't get a clear direction of what to write about.  There's so much in the news; most of it unsettling, so what takes precedence?  Rather than grasping at something that is not in focus, I will share some thoughts that have occupied my mind this last week.
     •  First of all, I enjoyed a visit from my niece (also God-daughter), her husband, and their beautiful nine-month old daughter.  I'm always fascinated at God's craftsmanship in creating us.  This child, even at this young age, shows tremendous curiosity, persistence, stubbornness and ingenuity.  She has unlimited potential because she is made in God's image.  Let's hope that mankind does not stifle His purpose for her.
     That's why I had to hold my tongue when her mother informed me that the baby had acid-reflux and her pediatrician has prescribed Nexium for this child.  If I'm to have any influence on my niece, I know it will be by staying calm; even though everything in me wanted to scream, "Run from that doctor!"  When I checked a reputable online site for any information in treating gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) in infants, I found that it had recently been approved for short-term use in children aged 1-11.  Then there was this warning:  The most common adverse reactions in children treated with Nexium were headache, diarrhea, abdominal pain, nausea, gas, constipation, dry mouth and sleepiness. The safety and efficacy of Nexium has not been established in children less than one year of age.  My great-niece is nine months old!  What is this doctor thinking?  And I hate our culture's fixation with always looking for a magic pill!  And I hate, even more, the thought that this beautiful child is being directed down a path of life-long dependency on Big Pharma.
     •  I have also been confounded by the astounding number of people that I have been asked to pray for who are the quintessential picture of perfect health one day, and within 24 hours find themselves gravely ill.  Tests are run and it is determined they have acute liver and kidney failure, or brain tumors, or their body is riddled with cancer.  How could there have been no prior signs that something was wrong?  Aren't these kinds of serious health issues usually preceded by some clues that something is beginning to deteriorate?  Yet these people are all seemingly blind-sided by their diagnoses.  Is it, as PLW is beginning to think, that God is taking out (early) His people who will find it difficult to endure what we will shortly suffer through?  That He knows who will be able to withstand the coming persecution and so stand for Him?  That in His mercy, He is delivering the less strong?
     I know people get sick every day, but I am sometimes overwhelmed by the magnitude of the number of Believing individuals who are experiencing life-threatening situations; and how quickly the afflictions are manifested.  God, in his infinite wisdom, knows the reasons why.  All I can do is pray for them.
     •  Finally, there seems to be no end to the barrage of global happenings of critical consequence.  There is the increase in violent storms, earthquakes and warnings of collisions with meteorites and other heavenly objects.  "Nuclear war" is now in the headlines of every major news outlet.  Radical Islam has no fear of retribution in forcing conversions, even on innocent school girls.  Over 36,000 violent criminals were released on the streets of America -- just before they were scheduled for deportation.  Iran claims to have cloned one of our drones.  The third case of MERS is announced in the U.S.  And here's one of my favorites:  Trans-humanists predict that, very soon, our emergence with robots will allow us to become our own gods.
     Is it any wonder that there are days I sit dumbfounded at the world in which I find myself?  It is difficult to imagine what life will be like in the next year or two, let alone 5 or 10 more, should the Lord decide I am to remain on this planet.  Honestly, I feel like everything is spinning out of control, yet I must continue to hang on to the only thing that will help me survive ... my faith.  It is so clear in these present days that money, stature and things are not the rewards I wish to seek.  There is nothing in this physical world that means anything.  I only care about what I receive from my relationships with others; those whom God has put in my path and who help me realize that love is the most cherished possession I have.  Let me grow in this precious commodity!

2 Timothy 3:1   "But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty."

Faith, Friendship and the Love of Freedom

   

Jeanie, top center, and me on the right

     In case you haven't figured it out, I am a sentimental fool.  Perhaps what I am feeling today is a carry-over from yesterday's post, but I have had an emotional couple of days, culminating in some strong feelings this morning.
     This weekend, I attended a 90th birthday celebration of a dear friend of mine.  I met Jeanie about 5 years ago when we attended a Sunday School class together.  Both of my grandmothers are no longer living, and she reminded me of one of them ... she is as short as I am tall, and quite a storyteller.  But it wasn't only those similarities that drew me to her.  My grandmother was responsible for presenting the Gospel to me, and I still treasure the Bible she gave me as a child, with her distinctive hand-writing commemorating the date.
     Like my grandmother, Jeanie became a beacon of unwavering faith to me and so many others.  Along with three other octogenarians, I had the privilege of interviewing them and capturing their coming-of-age stories during WW II.  It was wonderful to hear of how families survived those perilous times; how they struggled with little money; and how the country pulled together to make the necessary sacrifices that would result in our military's success.

Jeanie, and her soldier husband, Joe

     Jeanie and these sweet ladies all married soldiers during those early years of the War, and they told of the fears they had for their husbands and brothers who served.  Whether it was in the European theater or the Pacific front, all four men served bravely and came home to raise families and proceed with their lives, never giving voice to the terrors and violence they had witnessed.
     Jeanie's husband died at a young age, leaving her with five young children to raise (much like my grandmother's story), and this pint-sized dynamo reared her children to love and abide in the Lord.  In fact, at the party, person after person rose to testify of Jeanie's profound and tireless faith throughout her 90 years.  She takes her commission to spread the Gospel message seriously, and I've never seen anyone who is so fearless in approaching strangers -- she truly cares about the souls of the unsaved! I wish I had her courage and single-mindedness in carrying out this mission.
     When asked what had made her life such a success, she didn't hesitate... Faith and Friendship.  But how both have suffered in her latter years.  Faith used to be at the center of success, in both the family and the nation;  today it is defiled and ridiculed.  Friendship used to be about being physically and spiritually available to meet your neighbor's needs.  Today it is conducted through emotionless text messages; is usually all about self; and lacks the sight, touch, and sound of another caring human being.    I envy Jeanie; she has really lived a meaningful and full life.  So, I left her party, thankful for having her in my life, and hoping that God will allow her to continue His work for many years -- and praying that He would use me in the same way.

The Memphis Belle, movie cast and real-life heroes

     That brings me to this morning.  As I surfed the news stations before beginning my day's work, I stumbled across a channel showing the 1990 movie, Memphis Belle.  This movie has always intrigued me because my father flew for the Navy, as a tail-gunner, during WW II.  I hadn't seen it in awhile, and as I was being drawn into the movie, I saw it with different eyes this time.  Perhaps my mind was in that "mode" because of my time with Jeanie, or because of my thoughts in yesterday's post -- but I noticed different things during the scene where the Belle and her crew are leaving for their mission to bomb Bremen, Germany.
    For a few brief moments on screen, airmen can be seen down on bended knee, praying before they climb into an aircraft and take part in a bombing run that could very well be their last.  Those left on the airfield are shown bowing their heads and crossing themselves, obviously praying for the safe return of their squadron.  And then they showed the tail gunner getting into position, and I was overcome with emotion, thinking about my father, who as a kid of 18 was given that heavy responsibility.  I have seen what war does to young men of 18-20 years old; the haunted look of those I've served at the Fisher Houses in San Antonio.  And to think that I never took that into account when I questioned what I thought were unreasonable fears about monetary security, or his refusal to face the end of his life.

My Dad -- kneeling, far right

     When you stare into the face of Death in a flying tin can; when you see your best buddies go down in flames outside your turret window; and when you're a lonely and scared kid, far from the family farm... well, I guess that stays with you for a lifetime.  I tried to have discussions with my father about those days, and about his faith; but he was silent on both accounts.  
     But like the brave young men in our all-volunteer military, he and the Greatest Generation answered the call.  And unlike their modern counterparts, my father's peer group had the freedom to express their faith.  There were no rules prohibiting Bibles or religious symbols; soldiers were allowed to invoke the name of God, and Chaplains were an important part of military leadership.  Not that everyone in WW II was a Believer, but at least the powers-that-be didn't discourage the seeking of God.
     Maybe I'm just entering a season of contemplation and nostalgia.  I don't want to think that we have seen the best of what this nation and our lives can be.  I don't want to imagine what it will be like for the next generations.  I know that these character traits are still alive in our country; that deep down we still yearn for abiding Faith, authentic Friendship, and enduring Freedom.  I pray that I can carry on the legacy of both my father and my friend, Jeanie ... that I can do my part and that I will be able to pass something worthy on to others.

Psalm 78:4    "We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and His might, and the wonders that He has done."
     
   

How Do I Say "Thanks"?

     I just received word that one of the most uniquely spiritual men I have known has been given one week to live.  It's not often that you come in contact with someone who is beyond description; who, in one Divinely-planned encounter, changes your life.  Bobby Drinnon did that for me.
     The fact that you are reading this blog today is because of Bobby.  Let me explain:  I had heard about him from my very good friend, Chris.  It seems Bobby had been given a gift of extrasensory perception.  While drawing inspiration and guidance from his Christian faith, he offered what he called "intuitive counseling" to help people embrace God's purpose for them.  He was called many things by those who misunderstood his gift and his purpose.  He would tell you he was not a "psychic" or a "prophet" or a "channeler".  He would tell you that his work involves the simple exercise of a little-understood, but very human, ability to perceive aspects of past, present, and sometimes future conditions. In Bobby's case, intuitions are manifested through dreams, spontaneous impressions, deliberative meditation, and the visual perception of auras, which are the energy fields that emanate from all living things and from human beings, in particular.  In other words, Bobby gave God credit for the messages he received.

     I will admit, that when I first heard about Bobby's "gift", I was skeptical.  But I also thought it would have little consequence in my life, since he lived in Tennessee and I lived in Texas.  All that changed one fall day in 2007.  Our mutual friend, Chris, was getting married in Montana, and it seemed I would not be able to avoid crossing paths with him.  I can tell you this, when you met Bobby Drinnon, you were not likely to ever forget it.  Almost ethereal looking, he had long flowing white hair, and a wicked sense of humor.  Let's just say he could be the life of any party he attended, and proved it during the wedding festivities.
    He didn't refer to his "gift" that entire weekend, and I thought I had successfully sidestepped the issue.  That is, until the last day of our visit.  The wedding was over, and all the guests were returning to their various abodes across the breadth of the country.  Chris approached me and said, "Bobby would like to visit with you."  I thought, "Oh, no, I don't need this.  I have my own personal relationship with God, and I don't need anyone else giving me advice."
    I tried to get out of driving up to the guest house where Bobby was staying, but was unsuccessful.  So it was that I found myself talking to God as I drove up that long driveway.  "God, if this is from You, please make it clear.  And, if it's not from You, let me plainly know that, too."
     I entered the house and was shocked to see that the Life of the Party had been replaced by a serious and contemplative man.  He invited me into the study, away from the other guests that occupied the house.  As he sat across a desk from me, I was plenty nervous.  He started by telling me that he was sometimes able to discern something that a person needed to hear from God, and it usually came in the form of dreams.  If God had something to impart to a person, Bobby would dream it.  Then he said, "And last night I had a dream that involved you."  He continued, "I don't know if this has any meaning to you or not", and he scribbled something on a piece of paper and slid it across the desk.
     I hesitated and then read what might appear as vague and inconsequential words to you, but which literally rocked me to my core.  What Bobby had written was this:  Be the pen, not the blank piece of paper.
     You see, from the time I was a child, I loved to write.  I would hole up in my room and write stories.  I would later work at my hometown newspaper while in high school, and write for a local entertainment magazine while in college.  Then I just stopped.  As they say, "Life got in the way."  After graduating from college, I got a job; and then several years later, I got married; followed by supporting my husband in his business.  "There's just not enough time," I would tell myself.
     But Bobby's little slip of paper told me that I was wasting my gift.  Because you see, no one (other than my husband) knew that I had any experience in writing, or that I loved it, and always intended to return to it.  There had been no reason for him to share that with anybody, since that was part of my past.  Chris knew me long after I had stopped writing, and there had never been any occasion to disclose it.  Bobby had no way of knowing, yet that is exactly what my first words were ... "How did you know?"
     He just smiled and said, "God knows, and He wants you to begin writing again."  He went on to tell me that, in God's eyes, it was not about writing a New York Times bestseller, or making lots of money.  "He wants you to write, purely and simply, because it pleases Him."  Bobby made me understand that God had given me this ability and I needed to honor Him by doing it each day, if for no other reason than to please Him.
     I knew, at that moment, and beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Bobby had been sent to reach me for God.  As soon as I returned home, I began a practice of writing each day.  I would invest the next three years in writing to please God, and a novel was the result.  I haven't done anything with it, because that was never the purpose -- I was writing because I wanted to please God.   I can honestly tell you that there were days I don't remember writing what was on those pages.  It was as if I was a conduit for God's creativity; it just flowed through me on to the paper.
     And then in December of 2011, I felt prompted to begin this blog.  Please don't think that I am boasting of any spectacular talent, but I know, in my spirit, that when I sit down to express my thoughts to you, that I am doing it in honor of my God; because it pleases Him to see me using what He has given me.
      But today, I want to thank God for sending Bobby Drinnon to me; for his ability to help me better understand who, and what, I was made to be.  And I would ask Him to somehow let Bobby know how grateful I am.  I only met Bobby that one time, but he has had such a huge impact on my life, and I will never forget him.
     Bobby has been battling cancer for several years now, and knew he would probably not win against the disease.  But as he recounted on his website, he lived each day to the fullest.  He said, "I am at the mercy of God's perfect love, and I trust in His divine wisdom to help me complete my life's calling."  Now, that calling is coming to an end.  But his inspiration will live on in each one of us who were fortunate enough to cross paths with him.  I will always be grateful for his spiritual counseling and for helping me reclaim my path in life.  Great rewards are in store for you in heaven, my friend!
     The following Scripture is featured on Bobby's website:

Psalm 34:19     "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the Lord delivers him out of them all."


   

It's One Of Those Days

     You will have to excuse me today.  I am engaged in some serious spiritual warfare.  You see, I am unable to gaze upon the world at the moment; my Spirit is heavy with an ominous foreboding.  I don't know if you are feeling it, too, but it seems as if Satan has taken his mask off and is boldly controlling so many aspects of our lives.  What's more, it feels like he has accelerated the pace of his attack, and destruction is right around the corner.  The Enemy has been clever in drawing my attention away from my Source of Life.
     He whispers in my ear, "Do you see it?  Right is wrong, and wrong is right.  People are fighting over food on the grocery store shelves in snow-bound Atlanta.  Your weather patterns no longer make sense; it is 23 degrees with freezing rain one day, and sunny and 80 degrees, a day-and-a-half later.  More Americans are unemployed than at anytime in the last 35 years, yet your First Lady feels the need to wear a $12,000 dress to a State Dinner for the French President.  Your government is out-of-control in almost every aspect of its authority; it no longer listens to the people, and, Look!  It is purchasing sniper ammo!"
     He then shows me that all those crazy conspiracy theories that have abounded over the last few years, don't seem so preposterous anymore.  There are Facebook posts of UN troops in Texas, and announcements by Iran that it will position warships off our coast.  Churches offer nude worship services, and teenage boys kill a girl so they can "sell their soul to the devil".  (At this point, he giggles to himself over his witticism).

     He points out that I have to look far and wide to find anything positive being reported.  I counter with the fact that I know it exists, because I have been blessed to see the goodness in people -- in the desire to serve others and to serve our God.  I remind him that God's people are still here, and those who possess the indwelling of the Holy Spirit will always rise above his dominion in the cesspool of godless humanity.
     The Devil counters with the claim that God's Light no longer shines on us, but I refuse to take the bait.  I do believe God's presence is near; I do not think He has abandoned us.  He promised that He would never leave us or forsake us.  I will accede to the idea that God has turned us over, as a whole, to our natural inclinations.  And when He pulls away, well ... the Devil wins a few and you get headlines like those above.  Because I know that if we refuse to honor and glorify God, He will give us the opportunity to see what life without Him and His influence is like.  That means that those of us who yearn for Him will get to see just how strong our faith is, and if we're up to this spiritual battle.
     I must tell you that lately, I have given some ground in this duel with the Devil.  My thoughts have drifted along these lines ... I am growing weary of this world and its systems.  I'm tired of worrying about the future; I realize that this earthly existence is temporary, and an eternal life awaits me.  But the pressures of this sinful world are becoming more burdensome and impossible to ignore.  Then I get mad at myself because I know my God is so much bigger than what my bank balance is, or the news on the TV.  After all, when I am united with my King, all these "thorns in my flesh" will be forgotten and of no consequence.  I simply must endure until then.
     Then I take back the high ground, when I recover from my selfishness and ask for forgiveness of my sinful worries.  I take a stand against all the workings of Satan, and renew my allegiance to the Ruler of the Universe, knowing that I have won the victory against Evil through the blood of Christ.
     So, if like me, you find that there are days when you are feeling low and longing for a brighter future, I would tell you, "Don't despair!" We have been told that these days would exist.   But we have also been told that when the Enemy comes against us, we have mighty weapons to quench his fiery arrows.
     Just stay focused on the sovereignty of God, and His power to deliver from the strongholds of Satan; whatever yours might be.  Those of us who are Believers can expect to be engaged in spiritual warfare in the coming days, months and years.  But we can rest in the knowledge that whatever is sent against us will be bound in heaven, if we will only pray and present our petitions.  And that is what I have done today.  I know that this won't be the last day I do battle, but I pray that the days will be further apart as I shout and claim my victory over the darkness.

Romans 8:15    For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.”
   

Chris Kyle: The Character Of A Man

   

     February 2, 2014 was the first-year anniversary of the death of Chris Kyle, ex-Navy Seal and the most lethal sniper in American military history.   Here in Texas, he will never be forgotten and that's why when our friends Chris and Darcy Douglas approached  my husband and I about serving on the Board of Directors for a charitable event that would honor his memory, we never hesitated.  It was their brainchild to develop the first Annual Chris Kyle Memorial Roping and Auction; an event that would benefit Base Camp 40, a group close to Chris Kyle's heart.  Through their love for Country and our Veterans, Base Camp 40 desires to give back to, and honor, military veterans with outdoor hunting adventures and an opportunity to taste what they've fought so hard for... freedom.  That exemplified Chris Kyle, and was why he had made BC40 part of his efforts to give back to those who have so valiantly served our country.
     So while the first Annual Chris Kyle Memorial Roping and Auction was to benefit BC40, it was very much a weekend about Chris Kyle.  I regret that we never had the opportunity to meet Chris in person, but we've been blessed to spend some time with, and have had the opportunity to get to know, Wayne and Deby, his parents.  It didn't take long to see where he got his reputation for compassion, patriotism and toughness.  We have reveled in their stories of the son who always kept them on their toes; and their pride in his achievements were justifiable.
     But that pride wasn't centered on the many military honors he was awarded during his four tours in Iraq --  two Silver Stars, five Bronze Stars with Valor, two Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medals, and one Navy and Marine Corps Commendation -- they were equally proud of the man he was.  And if it's true that you can judge a man's character by the friends he surrounds himself with, then Chris Kyle was every inch the American hero they say he was.
     We met some of the most amazing people this weekend; friends that Chris grew up with and who knew him in college.  When you talked to these good folks (and I'm not using that term lightly) you heard in their voices, more than the words they were speaking, just how much Chris meant to them.  Yes, he was the best selling author and "celebrity Seal", but to them, and with them, he was still their larger-than-life, dare-devil, crazy, caring friend.  They shared so many memories with us; we spent a lot of hours smiling and laughing as they told their stories.  But inevitably, the laughter turned to suppressed tears as it was evident that they miss him terribly.  The same was true of others who worked with him in and out of the military; he was a guy who made an impression.
     So, it wasn't surprising that they agreed to volunteer 15-plus hour days during the coldest, most miserable Texas winter weather I have experienced in a long time.  They worked at selling clothing and merchandise for the memorial event; helped set up and man a Silent Auction; decorated tables for a VIP dinner; helped coordinate the purchases from a Live Auction that alone netted nearly $55,000 for Base Camp 40; and carried/lifted more boxes, cartons, and cases, while running any and all errands that were requested of them.  They never complained, because they were doing it for their friend Chris Kyle ... as was everyone who was involved with the event this weekend.

"From Cowboy Boots to Combat Boots"

     Another extraordinary aspect of this weekend was to see the cowboy and military cultures come together; each to honor one of their own.  It's not everyday that you see cowboys in their boots and hats, along with low-key Navy Seals, Special Forces and Marines -- and all sharing the same stage.  It was simply the unifying spirit of Chris Kyle that brought them together.

      You may not be aware of it, but before Chris was a Navy Seal, he was every inch a cowboy.  My husband painted him as a young man, an image that his father, Wayne, wanted him to be remembered by.  And the Professional Bull Riders organization were huge backers of this event.  (See article). As Chris's brother, Jeff, who served in the Marines, said, "This organization (PBR) is all like-minded people, just like the military. We all have the same mentality, same mindset to get out there and get it done no matter what the cost is. From day one since the tragedy, just to see -- no matter where we’re at in the country -- just to see the outpouring of support that we get from our fellow Americans; to stand up and show their support for my brother and to our family ... it goes without saying, it’s unbelievable.”
     During a recent PBR event, Wayne Kyle had this to say:  "This means a lot to us and to see all the people that recognize Chris for what he accomplished and what he stood for. Not just because I’m his father, but he was a true American hero, and he hated that. He hated that label. He said the heroes are the ones that are still over there fighting. He said the heroes are the ones that had gone before him.”
     And that's why me, my husband, Chris's friends, and all the people who volunteered at this latest memorial event showed up.... to carry on his legacy of serving those who have served us.  Despite the cold, the aching feet, the tired backs, we were all there with one person on our minds... Chris Kyle.

Honor guard for
Chris Kyle

     The past year has been difficult for the Kyle family, and there have been a number of events that sought to honor and memorialize the man the country knew as a hero, but to them was their son and brother. According to Wayne, his son may have been so many things to so many people, but to himself he was “just a normal guy.”  And sharing memories with people who have sought the family out has been bitter sweet.  "The stories have warmed our hearts, but then that brings up the memories and we miss him—that void that’s there. We’re thankful that we still have Jeff and his family. Yeah, it’s good to be a part of this event. If Chris was still here today, that’s what he would be doing. If somebody would have approached him about doing an event like that, oh, he would have jumped at the chance."
      And that's exactly why it was important to make this event the success that it was.  Because his closest friends told us that he would have loved what this event stood for, and would have been pleased with how it was conducted, it made the success of this event even sweeter.  And it was important to help the Kyle family, who has made it their goal to carry on his legacy.  Chris Kyle may no longer be with us, but it is quite evident that in the state of Texas his legacy will live on.  As he said in his book, American Sniper, "I've lived the literal meaning of the 'Land of the Free' and 'Home of the Brave'.  It's not corny for me.  I feel it in my heart.  I feel it in my chest."
     This past weekend, there was lots of energy, emotion, laughter and tears; none dared call it corny, and it goes without saying that we all felt it in our hearts, too.  It went by many names:  honor, respect, integrity and love; but it all added up to one thing: a tribute to a man of great character.  And that's worth celebrating.

To Jill and Bo, Jon, Bridgette, Kristen, Ron:  You all helped Chris be more than the legend to us.  Thank you for sharing your memories.  And we celebrate these new friendships in his honor.  And to Wayne, Deby, and Jeff:  we hope this weekend showed you how much all of us respect the memory of your son and brother.  Thank you for letting us be a part of it. 

Mark 10:45   "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
       
   
   

Perhaps I Can Help....

     I won't lie to you.  Today, I woke up in the dark hours of early morning, my mind instantly alert and fighting off what I can only describe as the creeping tentacles of fear.  Maybe it is that the beginning of a new year is supposed to be filled with thoughts of better things to come and new potential; yet, everything I see and hear is telling me the exact opposite.
     Normally, I am strong and resilient, always able to see and understand my purpose in these times.  I have become adept at fighting off the doubt and stoically resuming my state of readiness.  But there are times that I let those defenses down, and revert to what we all are ... vulnerable people in a distorted and unhealthy world.

     I am fully aware of the countdown on the clock, and that these are once again, "the times that try men's [and women's] souls".  But while I have taken the informed and reasonable steps to prepare myself, my family, and my friends for what is coming upon the earth, that doesn't mean that I am continually brave or strong or persuaded that I am following the correct path.
     I imagine that I am like many of you ... up to speed on the economy, as well as national and global security issues; and fully knowledgable about the threats to our healthcare, our faith, and all the rights guaranteed to us by the Constitution.  We listen to the Mainstream Media and we read the "crazy" websites; at least, they used to be considered crazy before time and circumstances have proven that many of their projections were accurate.  Our discernment and our understanding have morphed and grown; we are educated in ways we never imagined possible.  In a sense, we have achieved an altered state of consciousness; risen to a new level of perception of ourselves and the world.
     Yet that doesn't keep us from returning to our deep-rooted human instincts and our powerful desire to escape back in time to what used to pass for normalcy.  Do you even remember what "normal" used to look like just a few short years ago?  When you didn't give a thought to the location of your much-anticipated family vacation, or have to worry about eating seafood out of the Pacific?  What about when you took your retirement and 40l(k) accounts for granted.  And remember when you used to trust the government?  When you accepted their every action as being in your best interest?  Now we find ourselves living in a constant state of renunciation, at worst; or skepticism, at best.  Then there was the certainty of what the future held for our children and grandchildren; everyone could expect an education, a job, a family and the successful fulfillment of your dreams.
     In the back of our minds is that yearning: "I just want my life to be normal again !"  Hey, I'll admit it.  I do, too!   But here's a truth that you may not want to hear ... that time that we knew as "normal" is gone!  We can't ignore the reality of what has changed in our country and the world. We may not want to acknowledge it, but we have to face it.  We have crossed a threshold, taken the exit ramp, walked through the looking glass, and all the other clichés that describe the trajectory we're on.  There is no real possibility of turning back.
     And if you are a Christian, you know where we're going.  Just as importantly, if you are not a Believer, I urge you to research the promises that have been made regarding eternity.  You can't deny what the Word has revealed to us.  But you will also find that there's more to the story than the events we see unfolding all around us.
     So, as I laid there in the dark this morning, listening to the soft breathing of my husband, I was fully aware of where the anxiety was coming from.  I knew that this was the time the Enemy found easiest to distract me.  When he could dump a big 'ol pile of what ifs into my brain; and show me all the scary scenarios that could unfold.  He tried whispering, "Do you really think you can escape my plans for the world?  Just how do you think you can change what I've set in motion?"
    I have to admit, it would be easy to succumb to those doubts and/or slip into a "safer" mode of thinking; one where I long for the security of the past.  But I refused to let the dark of the early morn pervade my soul.  I know that I am just one person among millions on this planet; here for just one moment in all of time.  But I am created in the image of the Lord; I am a child of His Light, and the darkness has no power over me.  My life may not be of any great consequence in the annals of history, but I can choose to live it by being engaged in the fight between Good and Evil.
     I know this morning won't be the last time I face this struggle.  As the days progress, I have a feeling that the attacks of doubt will become more persistent.  But I have a choice in how I react, and so do you.  When you find yourself bogged down with fear, unbelief or uncertainty, turn to the One that created you and the One who is faithful to fulfill His promise to you.  He will never leave us nor forsake us in our times of trouble.  Escaping to the past and our lost notion of "normalcy" won't bring us closer to Him.  That just turns us away from where He is calling us.  Turn towards Him and take just one step at a time in His direction.  I think we will be surprised at just how calm and strong and brave we can be.  We are not alone on this journey --- we have each other, and we have our Lord and Savior.   And that's all we really need to face the future!

John 1:5     "The Light shines in the darkness; and the darkness has not overcome it."

Not Your Normal Christmas Letter

     Do you dread those holiday letters?  You know the ones ... those who go above and beyond the events of your friends' daily lives, and regale you with every trivial detail of little Susie's piano recital; or brag on how wonderful and extraordinary their kids are compared to yours.  Don't get me wrong --- I love catching up with old friends.  In this age of two-sentence text messages, or a quick Facebook post, it is easy to miss out on the deeply personal occasions in the lives of others.
     I have always loved getting the Christmas letter from my middle sister.  She has a sharp, witty sense of humor that translates into a wickedly entertaining repartee of her family's comings and goings (think episodes of Seinfeld and Everybody Loves Raymond).  But this year, she threw me a curve ball, and the result is a message that I believe will inspire you.
     As I've mentioned in past posts, all three of her sons are members of law enforcement.  (I will dutifully refrain from being the proud aunt; this is her story).  She has often struggled with how to answer the question, "How did this happen?  How is it that all three boys entered this field?"
     Each of my nephews have distinctly different personalities, so there was no common ground there.  There are no family members that preceded them in law enforcement, and no mentors that pointed them in that direction.  But one day, my brother-in-law stumbled upon an old computer file of an essay that their middle son wrote when he was at the Police Academy.
     The paper's central focus was on an article written by Dave Grossman, a former psychology professor at West Point, and a retired Lieutenant Colonel in the US Army.  Grossman is perhaps best known for his first book, titled On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society.  In this particular article, he expounds on the three types of people in society:  sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs.  Here's a summary of his philosophy:

“Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident. Then there are the wolves, who feed on the sheep without mercy.  The moment you forget or pretend this is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial. Then there are sheepdogs. Sheepdogs live to protect the flock and confront the wolf. The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, cannot and will not ever harm the sheep.”
     See how this would be an important concept for a future law enforcement officer?  In his Police Academy essay, my nephew related how this article reinforced an event from his childhood and a lesson taught by his father:  “My dad would drop my brothers and me off every morning and utter this simple phrase: ‘Be a leader, not a follower.’ And believe it or not, that phrase actually sank in.  I still find myself thinking about these words today when I am put in adverse situations. But back then in the harsh reality of trying to be cool and fitting in it was hard for me to realize how I was supposed to act on those words. 
     There was a kid I grew up with. He was the definition of a sheep. He was not considered an athlete or popular. But he was wicked smart and one of the nicest guys I have ever met. Our families were close. I hung out with him all the time. As we made our way through the grades, he started to get picked on more and more. 
     I was small, not the ‘genetic’ sheepdog by any means. But I felt like I needed to stick up for this person. I hung out with the wolves as well as the sheep and knew the consequences of picking a side. As the abuse continued I saw the pain this caused my friend, and I realized that if no one else was going to stick up for him I would. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it made me stronger as a person. 
     And it still feels good to know that I made a conscious decision to be the sheepdog without regard to how other people thought. I have continued to try to be that kind of person as I’ve grown older. I’m not saying that I was angelic by any means, and the tormentors were not bad people at all. We were just kids. To some degree, I enjoyed the attention I received for standing up for what I believed, but maybe that is not such a bad thing. Maybe that is a small part about why being a police officer is so appealing to me. 
     I like being morally right. I want to be the person people look to in a time of crisis. I want to stand up for what I believe to be morally right. And if anyone is under a microscope in that way, it is police officers. Even the people police officers try to help sometimes do not get it. I think this article says what my dad always told me growing up. ‘Be a leader, not a follower.’ Be a sheepdog, not a sheep. I want to be the sheepdog on the train. I want to stare stupidity in the eye and make it back down. And I want to have the tools to handle the situation if the wolves do not back down.”
     My sister's letter goes on to say that she doesn't think she and my brother-in-law have done a better job of raising their children than anyone else.  But here's where I get my say and the opportunity to brag!  I am not saying they are perfect; no parent is.  But I saw the boundaries, the discipline (when she pointed that finger, my nephews knew she meant business!) and the love with which my sister mothered her boys.  Their father was an ever-present example of fairness and compassion.  And look at what his simple instruction to "be a leader, not a follower" did in their lives.  Together, they inspired my three nephews to live their lives in service to others.  They are all sheepdogs.
     So what I hope you take away from this second-hand Christmas letter is this:  The wolves are gathering, and as Dave Grossman says, "There is no safety in denial."  The truth is, we are all going to need to find the sheepdog within ourselves.  Inspire your children with a simple moral lesson each day; I promise you they are listening.  Our society will be the better for it, and perhaps we can raise a generation of young men and women who can say along with my nephew, "I want to stand up for what I believe is morally right."  Wolves, beware!

In honor of my nephews and all law enforcement who stand on the front lines between us and the wolves:

1 Thessalonians 5:12-13   "And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves."

Servants All

     Have you ever had one of those unexpected experiences where, after it was over, you just knew that God's hand was all over it?  Well, I can't wait to share mine with you!  Yesterday, Peace-Loving Warrior (PLW) and I had to be in the Big City to take care of a little business.  We knew it would be a mixed blessing -- we were going to meet with a client to deliver a commissioned portrait that my wonderfully talented artist husband had just completed (he hates that I just said that; but I'm allowed to brag every now and then -- it's my blog, right?)
     But we also had to meet with our health insurance broker to try to navigate the decisions we needed to make -- do we stick with our grandfathered plan, whose rates just went up, and are scheduled to go up again in March of 2014?  Or do we take a risk on choosing one of the myriad of plans being offered, and which the Provider can supply no rate guarantee for the next year, because they don't know what is going to shake out in this chaos called the Affordable Care Act?!?  Although I was dreading dealing with this conundrum, we would soon be graced with the afore-mentioned incident that overshadowed any negative effects of something as trivial as the ACA.  Let me tell you our story....
     Because the weather prediction was a little dicey for Texas -- freezing rain and icy roads -- we decided to get an early start for our meeting.  As it turned out, there was just freezing temperatures and a cold, icy wind; but no precipitation.  It being a Friday, most people just took the day off, so the roads were nearly empty and we found ourselves with an hour or more to kill.  So we decided to treat ourselves to a trip down memory lane.

     In Austin, TX there is an iconic little restaurant called Kerbey Lane Cafe.  They are known for their gingerbread pancakes, fantastic omelettes and Bohemian atmosphere.  They have actually managed to maintain a semblance of "old Austin" before it became the Southwest replacement for Silicon Valley and overrun with California transplants.  Although there are now multiple locations of Kerbey Lane Cafes all over town, it has always been staffed by free spirits and nonconformists; the descendants of the Flower Children of the 60's.  If you want to experience the "soul" of Austin, just eat at Kerbey Lane.
     So it was, that we eagerly entered this nostalgic establishment to enjoy a good breakfast and get out of the frigid weather.  As we were led to a back booth, we noticed that the table to our right was filled with four members of the Army, dressed in uniform and enjoying a variety of Kerbey Lane's finest breakfast offerings.  Our boho waiter, replete with his dread-friendly slouch hat and full beard came to take our order.  Now, normally, you would never pair PLW in his tactical ball cap with a free spirit in his slouch hat, but the two would quickly become co-conspirators in a scheme to give back.
     As soon as we had been seated, a thought popped into my head, which I quickly shared with PLW.  So when the waiter appeared, we asked if he was handling the table of military veterans seated to our right.  He said, "yes" and PLW said, "Bring their ticket to me.  We'd like to pay for their breakfast."  Our waiter smiled, took our order and disappeared.
     Shortly afterward, he informed them that their bill had been taken care of, and I heard one of the young women ask, "Do you know who it was?"  Darn, I thought, Please don't tell them who it was... we don't need any recognition.  Too late!  The next minute, all four servicemen and women were standing at our table, shaking our hands and thanking us.

     "You don't owe us any thanks," we said.  "We are thanking you for what you do for us.  Just be careful out there."  They filed out, and we settled in to enjoy our breakfasts, glad to have been able to give back through our small gesture.  The next thing we knew, our bearded waiter came over and presented us with a no-bill receipt, saying, "One good deed deserves another.  Your breakfasts are on us."  We protested, but he just smiled and walked away.  Needless to say, we felt that this kind and compassionate establishment should be recognized and rewarded for their excellent customer service and their caring attitude --- so our tip covered the cost of our meal.
     As we bundled up and slipped out into the inclement weather, I didn't feel the cold or the wind.  I was warmed by the experience that God had allowed us to share with our fellow man that morning.  We were all different ages, had different backgrounds, and more than likely have different philosophies on politics, religion and life.  But each of us took the step to spontaneously serve the other, and that's exactly what our Lord asks us to do.  It was so simple ... and so rewarding; the perfect gesture for this time of year.  I silently expressed my gratitude to God as I a wrote a note to leave with our waiter's tip:  "Thank you for helping us to help others.  God Bless You!"
     None of us know each other's names; nor are we ever likely to cross each others' paths again.  But none of that matters, because for a few short moments, we reached out and served a stranger.  And that is a memory that will last a lifetime!

1 Peter 4:10    "As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace..."