I see the deterioration in our government and its' policies. More people are lining up for unemployment and food stamps than ever before; individual rights are being overturned; and our national security seems to rank behind "making nice" with our enemies.
And speaking of government policies, Peace-Loving Warrior and I just returned from our annual visit with our CPA. I wish someone could explain to me how our small business could lose nearly one-third of our annual income and we owe more taxes?!? I confess that this realization has played havoc with my confidence that I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing.
My time is spent between supporting my husband's efforts with our business; writing this blog; spending time in my Bible as I attend one women's study group while preparing a small Bible study of my own; and then there is learning new skills for sustainability, such as gardening, canning, and self-defense ---- all worthwhile ventures, and ones that I feel are worthy of God's will for my life. And then Satan attacks!
"Maybe you're life is just a little too comfortable," he whispers in my ear. "But, wait!", I answer. "How do you define "comfortable"? Because if you mean our lifestyle is lavish and rich, I'll be glad to show you the balance in our checkbook." I visualize him smirking. "What I mean is maybe it's a luxury for you to have time to write this blog, or spend your first hour each morning in that Book you admire so much. Gardening, canning, self-defence? You have time for all that? Maybe you need to go get a job if you're having trouble paying your taxes. You know.... it's only going to get tougher." And then he's attacked the weak link in my faith.
Because there are times I think maybe I'm on the wrong path. First of all, am I pulling my share of the weight in our household? Yes, the partnership that PLW and I share in our business has worked for nearly 18 years, and until the last couple of years, we didn't feel the pain that all Americans are beginning to experience. So maybe if I gave up these other pastimes and contributed a paid salary, he wouldn't feel the burden so much.
These attacks come most often in the middle of the night, and I'm sure many of you can identify with me. I struggle and fight the never-ending and false accusations of the Enemy. Because while my present circumstances may cause me to momentarily doubt my path, I force myself to remember the quality of this life I live; the blessings that have come from listening to the Lord and following His promptings. I have never been happier or felt more fulfilled than when working with my husband, studying the Bible, working in my garden and learning new skills. And through it all, my God has provided. This isn't the first time tax season has been a burden, and I know it won't be the last. That is the cost of living this earthly life. But what makes it harder is that the more I live this blessed life to which He has called me, the more I long for my eternal life, as God shows me His faithfulness in return for mine.
My mind is ever more on Him and less on this worldly, temporal existence. I long to escape the demands of an increasingly repressive government, and the immorality of an irreligious society. There are days I think, "If all I had to do was work in my garden and study the Word, I'd be deliriously happy." But that's taking the easy way out and doesn't require a strong faith. And ultimately, that is the answer to my dilemma .... to develop a stronger faith and to reject the lies that are whispered in the dead of night. I have been given an amazing opportunity to live a life that is fuller than I ever dreamed possible. Each day I am allowed to see God in my surroundings, in time spent with Him in the Word, and in the exercise of writing this blog. He brought me to this point, and if He has a different purpose for my life, then I trust He will bring me to it. In the meantime, I believe that the enjoyment I feel in my simple, modest life is because this is where He wants me.
My prayer for you is that you reside in the exact spot He wants you, and you are doing what He has called you to do. Don't listen to those whispers that rob you of your serenity. Ask God to show you how to have His peace, because it is there you will be able to ride out this storm and know that your time on this earth is spent in His presence and provision. There's no other place to be!
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Numbers 6:25-26 The Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.