I have found it quite interesting that those of us who feel the calling to express our thoughts, our prayers, and our revelations, so to speak, often find ourselves experiencing a shared state of mind, at exactly the same time. So what am I trying to say? We are not neighbors; sometimes living thousands of miles apart. We do not communicate with each other (except through what we express on the internet), yet we are often on the same page, receiving the same insight into a particular issue within a very small window of time.
We all have our days when we feel inspired, or we feel strong and focused on our goals; and there are those days when we feel especially alarmed and, yes, fearful. The fact that we all seem to coalesce these emotions at the same time is not lost on me. And so it was not surprising to me, when a couple of days ago, I read one of my favorite bloggers, Enola Gay of Paratus Familia.
I had been experiencing an unusual emotion that day (at least for me) .... dread. The news usually fires me up to keep fighting for our liberties and for God's righteous ways, but everything I was reading and viewing and researching just suddenly became overwhelming. Between our nation's crushing debt; the lies and deceit of our leaders; the growing racial and religious tensions; and the rising death toll of citizens seeking freedom in the Middle East, there seemed little hope. I felt under such an oppressive weight..... "we can't overcome this" --- "all the preparing we've done won't be enough" --- "How, dear Lord, can we reclaim our history of freedom, that was instituted by You?"
And then I read Enola Gay's first words on her blog that day .... We are stuck. I realized that she, too, was going through a valley of temporary despondency. She, too, felt like her family had not done enough to prepare for the coming chaos and crises. No matter how far along the "Path of Readiness" we've come, we all feel like we've got miles to go. She summed up her dilemma in the following statement: "The truth of the matter is that we are in the same situation as countless other survivalist wanna be's. We see the world falling apart around us and long to prepare, but for one reason or another are stuck where we are."
And "stuck" has different meanings for different people. It can be, like Enola Gay, that they are stuck at a location not of their choice. For others, "stuck" can mean not enough financial means to prepare as they'd like; not enough support from your family to adequately prepare and protect; or it can mean we are stuck spiritually and can't discern God's will in this crazy world.
For just a minute, I indulged myself in our shared anguish. I'm not alone! Others are also feeling that we are "stuck" in an unwinnable situation. Has it all been for nothing? But then it happened!
I, literally, felt something slowly come to life in my soul. The closest word description I can give you is a stiffening of my spine. I knew there was really no choice but to keep putting one foot before the other; to do anything less was to accept defeat. I have been given an incredible gift by my God. I have been born into a nation that I believe He appointed; and I have enjoyed the liberties, the rights, and the prosperity of the most independent nation in world history. I could do no less than my part to preserve the blessing of Freedom that He has conferred on our citizens.
So I separated myself from the noise of the world for about 30 minutes. I closed my eyes and rested ..... rested from all the negative thoughts that were keeping me down; rested from trying to convince my fellow human beings that we are in trouble; rested from all the reading and writing I feel is my responsibility. If I'm not educated on what's coming at us, how can I attempt to inform others?
And, as happens every time I'm at my lowest, I knew that there was only so much I could do. It is ultimately in God's hands and He has a plan. It's not my job to change His mind or design my own strategy. It's my job to discern His will for me and then stand where He has placed me. It's my obligation to follow through with what I determine to be my purpose.
If I don't have all the financial resources to prepare as I would like, then I need to be wise with what I have been given, and proceed with intelligence and good judgment, establishing priorities. If family and friends don't buy into my warnings, then I must move on to those who are willing to listen. If I see my freedoms eroding, then I will align with like-minded citizens who value our founding principles, and work together to preserve our doctrines of self-determination and God-given rights.
As my fellow blogger, Enola Gay, wrote: "We have decided to trust that God knows what the future holds and that He knows where we are and that He knows what is good and right for our family .... We have moved forward, trusting that God will take care of us where we are."
And that, my friends, is what I will do, and I urge you to do the same. If you are reading this blog, then you have been given discernment and an ability to gain spiritual direction and understanding. Don't discount that! Realize that there is a Plan in motion; and it is not in your control or your time. So listen for your own particular course; stand where you are placed. It is there you will find your reason for being in this place, at this time. And rest, knowing that you are not alone in your frustrations, your fatigue, and (Praise God!) your trust in His faithfulness.
Psalm 143:10 "Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground."