A Woman's Perspective On The Times We Live In


June 27, 2015

A Letter To My Gay Friends


In the wake of yesterday's Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage, I would like to address my gay friends.  Yes, I have friends who are gay.  And I worded it that way because I see them as my friends first, and their lifestyle choice as second in regards to my relationship with them.  I see them as people; as individuals  whom I respect; whose company I enjoy, and whose talents and intellect I admire; and yes, as people I care deeply about.  It is true that we have a fundamental difference in how we few the institution of marriage, and I have never shied away from my position that no laws by men or for men will cause me to deny my Lord's Word.
     However, it should be our mutual desire that our differences will not cause a disruption or interruption in our friendship.  I am determined to demonstrate my God’s love while revealing His truth to the world, and without fear.  That means that I will continue to believe in "Biblical marriage" as the standard, but I recognize that this world has determined otherwise.  I will respect your right to embrace this new law, as I hope you respect mine to continue to endorse God's law.
     I would never presume to deny any person's capacity to love; after all, it is the second most important commandment in the Bible.  I simply believe that the concept of marriage is greater than any "rights" determined by man or court.  It is my understanding that the Supreme Court was deciding whether the states were denying gay couples their "civil rights" by banning gay marriage in their individual states.  It is also my understanding that "civil rights" refers to the rights of citizens to political and social freedom and equality.  And obviously, the Supreme Court ruled that gay marriage advocates are due those rights, as it pertains to the legal description.  It is now the law of the land and you have been granted those legal rights.  I understand why you would celebrate that.
     But I would like to explain that my definition of marriage goes beyond anything this world defines as political or social "rights", and it aligns with the Bible.  To me, God's laws are higher than man's laws.  It's that simple.  And because you are my friend, I am assuming that you know that God's opinion matters more to me than this culture's or the world.  That's why I take it to heart when the Word says, "Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother [the Bible's definition of a family], and shall cleave [join to] his wife; and they shall be one flesh [resulting in a child]."  It was divinely ordained by God that marriage would consist of one man and one woman, for the express purpose of continuing His creation.  I know that's not sexy or romantic, but I believe marriage to be holy and sanctified; and it should be divinely interpreted by the One who created it, not a nine-person court ruled by their political and social opinions.  
     I have no desire to legislate anyone's relationship or condemn or judge the matter of love between two people; and I can understand your resolve to establish a legal definition of your partnership.  That is understandable and reasonable.  But I would like to request that my rights to my religious freedom (including my opinion, and how I act out my faith in this world) neither be challenged, questioned, or disputed.  That, too, is the law of the land.
     As far as I am concerned, this Supreme Court ruling changes nothing as far as our friendship.  I will continue to proclaim my allegiance to God's Word in all matters, while continuing to share that my Lord died for us all.  It is my fervent prayer that we can all live in the Light, and come to fellowship with each other; that the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.
     Undoubtedly, this ruling will lead to further challenges to my Christian faith, and I need you to understand that I cannot compromise my beliefs or disobey God.  I am not only a hearer of the Word, but a doer.  I do not think it too difficult to agree to mutually respect each other, and treat our differences with courtesy and civility.  There is no need for me to prolong this discussion or even make it a focus of my life.  In the end, God is my Authority, and I must rest on His Word.

James 5:16    "Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working]."

10 comments:

  1. Unfortunately our rights to religious freedoms are already being challenged as this world's downward spiral continuous.

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    1. I agree that this Supreme Court ruling just opened the door for more legislation against Christians. But for as long as I live, I will not be disobedient to God's Authority. And I know that means some hard choices ahead...

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  2. The world's downward spiral? Um, let's see what our rosy past got us. Slavery. Child labor. Women not allowed to vote. Jim Crow. Yea, I can see this spiral is a terrible, terrible shame. I'm sure "Jesus" mourns for the good old days when people could be enslaved and denied basic freedoms. This letter rings as hollow to me as a letter in the 1800s from a slave owner to his "slave friends" when the emancipation proclamation occurred.

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    1. Um, I don't see anywhere in my post that I "longed for the good old days of slavery", or advocated child labor, or Jim Crow. I simply would like the courtesy of being allowed to explain the basis upon which I disagree with the Supreme Court... while maintaining mutual respect for my friends who disagree with me. And that's what saddens me about this whole argument ... it always seems to resort to attacks and name-calling from someone who doesn't wish to respect my faith. This is a personal letter to people I know. It's not a letter to those in the general public who disagree with me.

      And what does the emancipation from the horrid conditions of slavery have to do with same-sex marriage? Are you implying that my gay friends have suffered in the same manner? That their experience can somehow be likened to living in chains? I'm afraid that I do not see your correlation as valid, nor do I appreciate your disparagement of my faith or my character. We obviously disagree on this subject, but the difference between us is that I will not resort to calling names or making accusations. I will continue to uphold my beliefs and the commandments of Jesus, while respecting all people. I am a Christian in an increasingly un-Christian world and the Bible is my guide. I will not compromise its tenets to live "in the culture". All I ask is that others respect the choices I have made, just as they wish to be respected for their choices.

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    2. Hello Anonymous,

      I am one of Belle's gay friends, she if my friend and a fine christian woman. Take your hate elsewhere it serves no purpose here.

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    3. I am so blessed to call CK my friend, and our friendship is based on mutual respect and admiration of each other. It transcends how the culture tells us we should treat each other, and is genuine and sincere. Government decisions and haters on both sides of this argument will not get in the way of this friendship!

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  3. When Gay couples produce a child with their union then you will have a Gay marriage as the bible defines it as 2 coming together as one that no man can separate i.e. it is more then just 2 couples being together. It is the marriage of 2 peoples DNA creating a new individual.

    God defined the word marriage right from Adam and Eve so why use a word that does not mean a Gay Union as at this stage anyway they will not produce children?

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    1. I agree with you ... the word "marriage" was inaugurated by the God of the Universe, and only He is able to define it, which He did in the Bible. Any attempt by the world to distort that definition falls short.

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  4. Perhaps more note worthy than the Supreme Court's decision is how the churches by adn large are STILL saying very little, if anything at all.

    Sunday evening I went through the websites of bout 10 well attended evangelical (some charismatic, some non denominational) church's websites to see what their sermons were on this momentous day (bigger than roe v Wade) and guess what? NOTHING! Instead, their were sermons part of a predefined series, one on old adn new worship, and so on. No wonder so many TRUE faithful Christians are leaving the churches in droves as they pander for their tax exempt status and salaries, spineless and not willing to stand up for the uncomfortable truth. You would think that there would have been no bigger subject than to at least address the major cultural shift and how do we as believers address this raising children, etc? the church is being rapidly sidelined and rightly so. Time to clean house!

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    1. I understand your frustration, and I have to say that I was pleased with a pastor of a big church I used to attend when I lived in Austin, Tx. When asked if he was going to make a statement about his churches' position on the Supreme Court ruling, he answered, "Why would you feel the need to ask that? As a Christian, the Bible makes it clear how God views marriage, and there should be no need to make any kind of statement, if you are a Bible-believing Church or Christian"...In other words, he was saying we are to live out our faith by example. If your church is true to God's Word, it should be apparent, without any fanfare or public display. I agree with you that there are far too many churches whose theology is in question, and who are compromising with the culture and fear losing their tax exempt status. As my former pastor said, "Instead, we should be asking where is your sorrow over the poor job the Church has done in protecting the culture?" Sadly, I believe we will begin to see more churches falling away from clear Biblical teachings.

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